DARE to BE NATURAL!

“Hairstyles such as dreadlocks, afros, mohawks and other faddish styles are unacceptable.”  These were the words in the student handbook at Deborah Brown Community School located in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  On September 11, 2013, seven-year-old Tiana Parker, a student of this school, was sent home because her hair was deemed “unacceptable.”  Her story illustrates that in America, there remains a prevailing perception that black hair is not beautiful in its natural state. 

 Tiana Parker, Age 7

Moreover, this issue affects not only black women and girls, but black boys and men, also.  In fact, Hampton University, since 2001, has banned dreadlocks and cornrows for students (male and female) enrolled in their MBA program.  Sid Credle, the Dean of the Business School, asserts that the ban exists so that students can secure employment in the corporate arena.  But what makes black hair unacceptable or unprofessional?  I have been asking this question for years, and I have never received a satisfactory answer.     

Although naysayers criticize our hairstyles, it seems that we are regarded as unpresentable, unprofessional, and therefore, unacceptable, by virtue of our hair texture.  But by what standards is the beauty of black hair being measured?  In most cases, it is the white standard of beauty.  Although the DNA of our hair is structurally different, somehow we are pressured to imitate white standards of beauty, wear our hair as straight as possible, to mirror the hair texture of the dominant culture.  And if we do not comply, as with the case of Tiana Parker, there are repercussions.  Even, India.Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair” seems to be in defense of her natural, kinky hair texture. 

I want to share this poem I wrote, inspired by my own hair issues and those of some of my former students.  I hope that it will inspire you, or a woman you know.  I hope that it will move you to love your Creator, love Yourself and to love your Hair—texture and all.

 Me, DARING to be NATURAL!

hair peace

for Nancy, Janae and kinky-haired girls everywhere

as you
toil through
tears, comb
courageously
through tangled
standards
of beauty,
may you
realize your
hair's texture
needs no
apology.

as you
brush bravely,
through knotted
insecurity,
battle the
definition
of beautiful,
may you
realize your
hair's heavenly
and
needs no
Miracle*.

*Line of hair products for black women called "Dr. Miracle."

2/2011 

           Dr. Miracle Advertisement

Be Open: On Discerning the Journey

I am convinced, that life is one great journey to self.  With each experience, I have felt the essence of my true self emerge.  It seems that some experiences, more than others, have served as checkpoints on the road of life.  These checkpoints have lead me to reflect on the journey and discern where to go next.  However, I have learned, that just as one who is not familiar with a geographic area is unfit to give directions to a traveler, in the same way, everyone cannot give directions in my discernment process, because everyone does not know the terrain of my heart.  

I spent much of the summer wrestling with this question: “What do I want to do with my life?”  It was then that I remembered having this same conversation four years ago, with a mentor of mine.  She lovingly said, “Kyra, when you figure out WHO you want to be in the world, the WHAT will fall into place.”  Instantaneously, her words brought peace to the tempest in my mind.  However, this summer, I struggled to answer the a newfound question, “Who do I want to be in the world?” 

Not long after asking this question, I came across artist, Martha Graham’s quote:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action.  And because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.  It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable,  nor how it compares with other expressions.  It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open… Whether you choose to take an art class, keep a journal [or start a blog], record your dreams, dance your story or live each day from your own creative source, above all else, keep the channel open!”

       On this journey, I will face moments of discernment many times over.  Like the many surfaces of a diamond, which exude light from every angle, throughout my life, I will uncover the many facets of my true self, and “from my own creative source,” reflect my unique essence.  I believe that is who I want to be in the world.  A woman who is true, a woman who is creative, a woman who is open.    

"Or Should I Reprogram the Programming and Get Down?"—A Lesson from Janelle Monae (A Seminarian’s Perspective)

 

 Series: Diary of A Divinity Student (Entry #3)

I have just completed my second year of seminary.  This is what some refer to as the “muddy middle” year.  The year that many students buckle under the pressure of reformulating a self-identity that was once anchored in waters of religious traditions, doctrines and denominations. The year that many of us struggle to find balance on a theological tightrope of sorts, swaying between a space where old ways of thinking no longer suffice and new theologies have yet to be constructed.  During my time of reflection, something lead me to read an email I received about two years earlier from a colleague who had also gone to seminary.  He asked, “Are you in seminary to be trained for a calling or clarify your calling?”  Looking back, I think it is a little of both.

  

During dead week this past semester, I came across a song called “Q.U.E.E.N.” by Janelle Monae, featuring Erykah Badu.  I believe that she has some pertinent theological advice for everyone, especially those of us in seminary.  Her song, laden with religious imagery, explores themes such as: the price of pursuing one’s passion, the correlation between sin and sexuality (if there is one), the concepts of salvation, heaven, and human acceptance, sexual identity (to include same-gender loving people) and salvation, and God’s acceptance of who we are, just the way we are—in our true authenticity.  She writes,

Hey brother, can you save my soul from the devil?
Say is it weird to like the way she wear her tights?
And is it rude to wear my shades?
Am I a freak because I love watching Mary? (Maybe)

Hey sister, am I good enough for your heaven?
Say will your God accept me in my black and white?
Will he approve the way I'm made?
Or should I reprogram the programming and get down?

Amidst the message-ridden lyrics, thought-provoking images and the funky beat, this question would not escape me!  It is my interpretation that, “programming” is a synonym for religious teaching/indoctrination.  "Reprogramming" means reevaluating and recreating these teachings.  “Getting down” then, is a metaphor for discovering personal freedom/living in true authenticity.  As a major part of our culture and socialization, we have been taught many religious principles.  This process (with due respect) has shaped much of who we are.  However, there comes a time where we have the option of reexamining what we believe, discarding beliefs, theologies, doctrines and traditions that no longer promote our growth and embracing those that do.  In my view, Janelle Monae is encouraging all of us not to be afraid of this creative process of re-drawing boundary lines (freeing ourselves) in all areas of our lives.  On the road to self-discovery and living in true authenticity, (finding this place has been the crux of my seminary experience), I concur with Janelle Monae that we should… “Reprogram the programming and get doooown”!  Perhaps THIS is where we will meet God.

Twice in A Lifetime: A Reflection on the 2013 Presidential Election

I remember watching his speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in my high school Leadership class, and my teacher, insinuating that the then, Senator, was “going somewhere.” I remember meeting him at Congressman John Lewis' 65th birthday celebration (in conjunction with the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday), held at a Georgia hotel, as a high school junior.  I remember quoting him in the ultimate line of my high school commencement speech.  Lastly, I remember, as a college undergraduate, celebrating his election as the first African American President in US history, on U Street in Washington, DC.  Naturally, as I stood on the national mall this past Martin Luther King, Jr. day, awaiting the ceremony for President Barack H. Obama's second inauguration, this sequence of events, like waves returning to a faithful shore, ceased to dissipate in my mind.   

As the crowds increased, I sensed that the moment I was waiting for, the moment we were waiting for, was finally near.  To my front, the sun embraced the sherbet sky, just behind the capitol building.  To my left, college students sat on the ground playing a game of cards.  To my right, a pre-teen sipped hot chocolate while huddled next to his mother.  Behind me, the elders sat in foldout chairs, bundled under sleeping blankets.  We were all waiting.  It was indeed a sacred moment.  

          In fact, what was quite memorable was the prayer of Mrs. Myrlie Evers-Williams.  Her prayer brought me to tears.  It seemed to be deeply heartfelt—as if she encapsulated the very pulse of history, which resided 50 years before, in the heart of her husband, murdered civil rights activist, Medgar Evers.  I imagine that in stopping to honor God for such a moment in history, she was simultaneously honoring the life and legacy of her late husband who was killed because he was organizing, that blacks might have the right to vote.  This very occasion (the second inauguration of our first African-American president) was the summation of that right coming to fruition.

 I was further awestruck that President Obama pledged on the two Bibles: one of President Abraham Lincoln and that of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!  In that moment, I was reminded of the importance and power of prophetic leadership (I’ll have to expound upon this concept at another time).  I am truly grateful for what I witnessed on the National Mall, that day.  God only knows where I’m going from here.